That's how life feels right about now. In true military fashion, our plans change all the time. Just when we were prepared to send Casey off on the 9th, his basic day switched to the 18th of August. That means I get 2 1/2 more weeks with him. 2 1/2 weeks of non-stop "Casey time" (minus super drill).
And as happy as I am, I can't help feeling we are just postponing the inevitable. Not to be all gloom and doom, but it's really hard dealing with all of this. The truth is I break down and cry at least once a day...usually at night. I've already found I hate most music now (including Christian tunes), not to mention most small talk about the coming future (everything makes me cry); and with Casey being on base all weekend, I'm really feeling his absence.
I know everyone tells me crying is okay, and that it will help...but I'm not really sure it does. It feels more like I'm coming up to a dark imposing stone wall (one I won't be able to climb or overcome), and crying just makes that fear more of a reality.
What makes it worse is Casey's 10 month leave is now looking like it will be closer to 12 months. How do I deal with 12 months of solitude? How do I cope? I know myself enough to know that I am a terrible recluse when left to my own will, and Casey was usually the one to pull me out of this funk. Am I going to be one of those miserable wrecks that sleep their day away, and stop showering, eating, and talking?
I am thankful for all my amazing friends and family members who have gone out of their way already to help me. My mom is the biggest God-send! She has the most patient temperment to listen to all my fears and angry-bouts, and then gently re-assure me. I honestly have the best family in the world, and I am counting on them to carry me through this coming year.
More importantly I have a gracious God who is going to keep both Casey and I strong. He listens to our prayers and scoops away our fears. The closer we get to Casey's departure date, the more affirmed I am in knowing that we are following God's will. That knowledge is the biggest comfort in our lives.
I wish I could have given you something a little more "cheery" to read. I'll try to make an effort in the future to look at the bright side more. If anything, getting all of these emotions off of my chest has been very therapeutic. A lot more so than crying alone ever could be.
Till next time...
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
He's Here!!
Introducing
Maddox Rylan Cheek!
Born July 26 @ 11:54am
8lb. 5oz. and 20in. long
Maddox Rylan Cheek!
Born July 26 @ 11:54am
8lb. 5oz. and 20in. long
We all knew Meagan was rearing to have this baby pronto. Maddox had gotten so big, and Meagan was SO uncomfortable, that the Dr.'s decided to induce her on Monday...if he didn't come any sooner. SO her and Jeff were up at the hospital at 6:30 am Monday, and we were all on hold, ready to come up ASAP!
Colton had stayed the night with Grandma and Granddad. So the plan was to take him to pre-school and pick him up later that day...
Well, Colton got sick :( Mom woke up to him having a fever of 101. He wasn't hurting or coughing much, but it was enough to know he couldn't go up to the hospital. So at 8:30am I got a call from Mom to come help Dad watch Colton (Meagan NEEDED Mom up at the hospital!).
So we headed over, and took turns working and watching Colton. (Side note: I am so grateful my Dad has a drawing table, so I can work there when I choose...but that table's parallel bar sucks!).
Anyways, we got the call right after lunch that Maddox was here, and Dad decided he would stay and take a nap with Colton...so Casey and I rushed over to the hospital to see our NEW nephew!!!
So here he is:
Casey told Colton the baby was "doing the HULK" in this picture!
We made sure to take a picture of Mommy and Daddy with baby, so Colton could see all three of them together. When we showed him the picture, he kept pointing and saying "that's Maddox, that's Maddox" :)
Mom, Meagan, Maddox , and Me...that's a lot of M's :)
YEAH!! Maddox with his favorite Aunt Angie!!!
I also had to get a bunch of pictures of Maddox and Uncle Casey...he's not going to see him again until Thanksgiving (if we're lucky...cross your fingers!!).
I'll try to get pictures of everyone else with the baby up soon. Kellie and Chris were able to visit later that evening, and Dad came up too. So I just need to swap pictures with everyone.
Hopefully Colton will be able to see his baby brother soon! I can't wait to get pictures of those two!!
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Catch Me If You Can
This last week has been insanely crazy! We worked all week at my parents house to get ready for Casey's party, had the party, and now we are anxiously awaiting my nephews birth!
So I'll have plenty of stuff to blog about in the next week or two!
As for this post I wanted to catch up on everything that has been going on recently. The first big announcement is we finally got Casey's basic training day. August 9. We found out earlier this week, but I didn't want to make a big announcement until all our family knew. This means that in a couple weeks Casey's going to be gone, and I'm probably going to be a blubbering mess :(. The good news is that he should be able to come back for Thanksgiving and Christmas! This was our prayer all along, and God has seriously moved mountains to get us where we are going.
Second, I wanted to show everyone the pictures from Casey's enlistment...way back from May. Don't blame me for taking so long to get these up, they were on my mom's camera.
This is Captain May swearing Casey in. I don't think it really hit me till then how huge of a commitment we were making.
The rest of the pictures are of my nephew playing in the new sprinklers we got him! I love this kid to death, he is so full of energy! Mom and I ran around with him for hours, and he never wore out.
This is probably my favorite picture. Colton would scream at the top of his lungs every time he ran through!
Meagan and Jeff hung out for a little bit before heading off to a date night...they probably won't have one of those again any time soon!
Everyone came over again the next day for Kellie's birthday. Here's Colton and Aunt Kellie!
Then we got the water guns out!
Colton shooting Uncle Casey!
Uncle Casey shooting back!
Looking good in his "Big Boy" undies.
We got Mommy to run through the sprinklers...belly and all!
Uh-oh I gotta go!
AND...there went the undies!
Poor kid! Casey was showing him how to pee on the tree...and Daddy kept shooting him in the rear end. What you also don't see pictured is him trying to poop outside, followed by all of us yelling "NO!!"
I hope you enjoyed! I'll try to get pictures up of Casey's party soon...and of course of the baby. Thank you to everyone who came out for the party, we really love and appreciate all of you and your total support :)
So I'll have plenty of stuff to blog about in the next week or two!
As for this post I wanted to catch up on everything that has been going on recently. The first big announcement is we finally got Casey's basic training day. August 9. We found out earlier this week, but I didn't want to make a big announcement until all our family knew. This means that in a couple weeks Casey's going to be gone, and I'm probably going to be a blubbering mess :(. The good news is that he should be able to come back for Thanksgiving and Christmas! This was our prayer all along, and God has seriously moved mountains to get us where we are going.
Second, I wanted to show everyone the pictures from Casey's enlistment...way back from May. Don't blame me for taking so long to get these up, they were on my mom's camera.
This is Captain May swearing Casey in. I don't think it really hit me till then how huge of a commitment we were making.
The rest of the pictures are of my nephew playing in the new sprinklers we got him! I love this kid to death, he is so full of energy! Mom and I ran around with him for hours, and he never wore out.
This is probably my favorite picture. Colton would scream at the top of his lungs every time he ran through!
Meagan and Jeff hung out for a little bit before heading off to a date night...they probably won't have one of those again any time soon!
Everyone came over again the next day for Kellie's birthday. Here's Colton and Aunt Kellie!
Then we got the water guns out!
Colton shooting Uncle Casey!
Uncle Casey shooting back!
Looking good in his "Big Boy" undies.
We got Mommy to run through the sprinklers...belly and all!
Uh-oh I gotta go!
AND...there went the undies!
Poor kid! Casey was showing him how to pee on the tree...and Daddy kept shooting him in the rear end. What you also don't see pictured is him trying to poop outside, followed by all of us yelling "NO!!"
I hope you enjoyed! I'll try to get pictures up of Casey's party soon...and of course of the baby. Thank you to everyone who came out for the party, we really love and appreciate all of you and your total support :)
Friday, July 16, 2010
Happy Birthday Kellie!
So after my last VERY long post, I've been wondering what I should write about next. Life's been crazy around the Perkin's house, but nothing too interesting to post about...or at least it doesn't seem very interesting.
So I thought I would dedicate this post to my little sister's birthday. She turns 20 this Saturday, and we are going to have STEAK! Yum!! She has become such an amazing woman, and I love her to death. I don't know what I would do without her, especially when Casey is gone. She's the only other one who understands my humor, and has just as many inside jokes with me!!
So with that in mind, I have a great story to tell you. She'll probably kill me for doing this, but it is the best "Kellie is crazy" story ever...and it only happened a few weeks ago!!
When this took place Kellie was still living at home; Mom and I had just ran to Target; Casey was going to be off work soon; and Dad was gimped-up upstairs from his surgery. Okay, that's all the background you need to know.
Me (on my cell phone): Hello?
Kellie: Angie, where are you?
Me: Mom and I are at Target. Why?
Kellie: There's a huge spider down stairs...
Me: So? What are you calling me for?
Kellie: Can you come home and kill it?
Me: Oh, for heaven's sake Kellie, just kill it. (amid laughter)
Kellie: No! It's HUGE. I think it's going to bite me.
Me: It is not, just step on it.
Kellie: I think it's going to jump...I don't want to get that close to it.
Me: Then get a fly swatter, and whack it.
Kellie: Angie, I can't. It's TOO big...I don't want to go near it, and Dad can't come down to do anything. Will you please come home?
Me: Sorry, Kel, you're going to have to take care of it on your own. I gotta go, bye.
5 min. later-
Mom (on her phone): Hello?
(pause while Kellie speaks)
Mom: Kellie just kill it!
(another pause) (Me laughing)
Mom: Well if you won't kill it, then you better watch it until we get home. Alright? Bye.
Another 5 min. later
Kellie (on her cell phone): Hello, Casey?
You can probably guess the rest of the story. When Casey did get to my parent's house; Kellie had gone upstairs and stopped watching it, and we couldn't ever find the spider. Classic Kell-bell!!
So I thought I would dedicate this post to my little sister's birthday. She turns 20 this Saturday, and we are going to have STEAK! Yum!! She has become such an amazing woman, and I love her to death. I don't know what I would do without her, especially when Casey is gone. She's the only other one who understands my humor, and has just as many inside jokes with me!!
So with that in mind, I have a great story to tell you. She'll probably kill me for doing this, but it is the best "Kellie is crazy" story ever...and it only happened a few weeks ago!!
When this took place Kellie was still living at home; Mom and I had just ran to Target; Casey was going to be off work soon; and Dad was gimped-up upstairs from his surgery. Okay, that's all the background you need to know.
Me (on my cell phone): Hello?
Kellie: Angie, where are you?
Me: Mom and I are at Target. Why?
Kellie: There's a huge spider down stairs...
Me: So? What are you calling me for?
Kellie: Can you come home and kill it?
Me: Oh, for heaven's sake Kellie, just kill it. (amid laughter)
Kellie: No! It's HUGE. I think it's going to bite me.
Me: It is not, just step on it.
Kellie: I think it's going to jump...I don't want to get that close to it.
Me: Then get a fly swatter, and whack it.
Kellie: Angie, I can't. It's TOO big...I don't want to go near it, and Dad can't come down to do anything. Will you please come home?
Me: Sorry, Kel, you're going to have to take care of it on your own. I gotta go, bye.
5 min. later-
Mom (on her phone): Hello?
(pause while Kellie speaks)
Mom: Kellie just kill it!
(another pause) (Me laughing)
Mom: Well if you won't kill it, then you better watch it until we get home. Alright? Bye.
Another 5 min. later
Kellie (on her cell phone): Hello, Casey?
You can probably guess the rest of the story. When Casey did get to my parent's house; Kellie had gone upstairs and stopped watching it, and we couldn't ever find the spider. Classic Kell-bell!!
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
A New Direction
Sometimes life comes at you fast!
For those of you who don't know me, I've been happily married for 5 wonderful years! Through those years, my husband (CASEY) and I have made some big changes, waded some hard times, and had to put all of our faith completely in the Lord. Yes, there were days we wanted to kill each other, but over all our marriage has been a blessed one.
So when my husband was laid of Christmas of 2008, we were confident that the Lord was taking us down a new path to a bright future. A very NEAR future. But God's timing is never the same as mine. We struggled with God to find Casey a job quickly...begging for something great to just drop in our lap. It took us a while to realize that we had to given everything over to God, and be patient with his plans.
Practically a year after Casey was laid off we found him a simple security gig. The hours were crazy, the pay wasn't great, but we knew this is where God wanted us to be. At the same time, God started to put desires in our hearts for a life changing future. A future with possibilities, and changes.
Right when we started to get settled into the not-so-glamorous life of security work; God opened a new...scary door. The opportunity was with the Kansas Air National Guard. At first I was totally against it. I wanted something "less risky". But God was patient with us. He showed us both sides of the picture, promised us his blessings, and comforted our worries. Most importantly, God didn't push us through the door; he gently guided us through the maze of confusion.
So we made the leap of faith, and joined the ANG. Casey is now a fighting Jayhawk (Not to be confused with the wimpy ones from KU). He's been in it since May, and so far, God has hurdled every obstacle that comes our way.
We can't help feeling like we are finally on the right path, and are excited for what lies ahead.
That said, we are about to tackle what will be the toughest time in our marriage. Like all military personnel, Casey is required to go to Boot Camp. In his case, it will consist of 10 months away from home.
To say I'm scared is an understatement. We've never been apart more than two days, and I'm not quite sure how I will deal. Casey will be gone 41 out of the 52 weeks of the next year. That's a really long time away from home. I'm sure there will be tears...TONS of tears. And I know it will feel lonely, missing him like crazy, but through all of these emotions God is giving us strength. We feel compelled to go forward, knowing that we are fully following the Lord.
All of that said, this was why I decided to start this blog. It will be an outlet of sorts. Casey believes that if I have to look at the positive, it will keep me positive (instead of being all hum-drum & woe-is-me while he's gone).
More over, it will be a way to keep everyone posted on Casey while he's gone. *FYI* Unless you are a VERY VERY close friend or a family member, I won't really want to talk about it...it will just make me cry, and you won't want that on your conscious.
It will also be a great way to let Casey know what is going on in my life. Once he reaches tech. school, he'll be allowed computer access...and I'll be able to post tons of pictures for him to see!
For those of you who are wondering, this blog will be about ALL of our lives; not just the military. I'll probably post about every topic under the sun. So I hope you will enjoy...and I hope I can stick with it!!
Happy readings!
***If you haven't noticed, I like to use a lot of analogies. Get used to it. They're there.***
For those of you who don't know me, I've been happily married for 5 wonderful years! Through those years, my husband (CASEY) and I have made some big changes, waded some hard times, and had to put all of our faith completely in the Lord. Yes, there were days we wanted to kill each other, but over all our marriage has been a blessed one.
So when my husband was laid of Christmas of 2008, we were confident that the Lord was taking us down a new path to a bright future. A very NEAR future. But God's timing is never the same as mine. We struggled with God to find Casey a job quickly...begging for something great to just drop in our lap. It took us a while to realize that we had to given everything over to God, and be patient with his plans.
Practically a year after Casey was laid off we found him a simple security gig. The hours were crazy, the pay wasn't great, but we knew this is where God wanted us to be. At the same time, God started to put desires in our hearts for a life changing future. A future with possibilities, and changes.
Right when we started to get settled into the not-so-glamorous life of security work; God opened a new...scary door. The opportunity was with the Kansas Air National Guard. At first I was totally against it. I wanted something "less risky". But God was patient with us. He showed us both sides of the picture, promised us his blessings, and comforted our worries. Most importantly, God didn't push us through the door; he gently guided us through the maze of confusion.
So we made the leap of faith, and joined the ANG. Casey is now a fighting Jayhawk (Not to be confused with the wimpy ones from KU). He's been in it since May, and so far, God has hurdled every obstacle that comes our way.
We can't help feeling like we are finally on the right path, and are excited for what lies ahead.
That said, we are about to tackle what will be the toughest time in our marriage. Like all military personnel, Casey is required to go to Boot Camp. In his case, it will consist of 10 months away from home.
To say I'm scared is an understatement. We've never been apart more than two days, and I'm not quite sure how I will deal. Casey will be gone 41 out of the 52 weeks of the next year. That's a really long time away from home. I'm sure there will be tears...TONS of tears. And I know it will feel lonely, missing him like crazy, but through all of these emotions God is giving us strength. We feel compelled to go forward, knowing that we are fully following the Lord.
All of that said, this was why I decided to start this blog. It will be an outlet of sorts. Casey believes that if I have to look at the positive, it will keep me positive (instead of being all hum-drum & woe-is-me while he's gone).
More over, it will be a way to keep everyone posted on Casey while he's gone. *FYI* Unless you are a VERY VERY close friend or a family member, I won't really want to talk about it...it will just make me cry, and you won't want that on your conscious.
It will also be a great way to let Casey know what is going on in my life. Once he reaches tech. school, he'll be allowed computer access...and I'll be able to post tons of pictures for him to see!
For those of you who are wondering, this blog will be about ALL of our lives; not just the military. I'll probably post about every topic under the sun. So I hope you will enjoy...and I hope I can stick with it!!
Happy readings!
***If you haven't noticed, I like to use a lot of analogies. Get used to it. They're there.***
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